The Truth Teller

[00:00:01] [SPEAKER_04]: is back. We all have a story where we've come from how we progress, base, or successes we've had, the women support another women and really things have been.

[00:00:12] [SPEAKER_04]: There's been this expectation that a woman's got to fit into so many categories that we never spend enough time, maybe an orchestra or a half-in-age, whatever it would be and whatever it would kind of make to me have.

[00:00:24] [SPEAKER_01]: You've got an intuition that's intriguing and it's telling yourself in a draw something as a role.

[00:00:31] [SPEAKER_01]: The washing, I'd love to consider that a sister could do it's an emotional, psychological, emotional, emotional, emotional, emotional,

[00:00:35] [SPEAKER_01]: is a calm, a student of all of us. Lessons to your board and lead to a career.

[00:00:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Why do you feel that it's important for women to keep fighting and keep fighting for the right to think if we don't fight for a race?

[00:00:47] [SPEAKER_03]: We can be taken away, it's better for us to be proactive rather than waiting till we end up in a situation that a lot of people want to make a count and just say,

[00:00:56] [SPEAKER_03]: but it's something we've got accession and the training caught back.

[00:00:59] [SPEAKER_00]: I then from L that I need to myself more than I need it anybody else.

[00:01:08] [SPEAKER_00]: And I still might like to say today, we were involved with anything that doesn't support the woman, I'm young and becoming Scotland's women,

[00:01:16] [SPEAKER_02]: our life, our stories. Now let's get on with the show.

[00:01:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Hi, Lorna, how you doing? Good, thank you. Thank you for coming onto this spot on the spot, I really do appreciate it.

[00:01:45] [SPEAKER_02]: We were discussing before about how we as women need to stop people, please it.

[00:01:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Could you feel like people please this such a waste of time?

[00:01:55] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't say that it's a waste of time because I think people please for various dishes,

[00:02:01] [SPEAKER_01]: people please because they do it at a place of safety to protect themselves,

[00:02:08] [SPEAKER_01]: so being rejected or to avoid the conflict, to avoid problems with a lot of people or people of the business.

[00:02:15] [SPEAKER_01]: They're really actually help stay to stay safe and an environment perhaps that isn't safe.

[00:02:22] [SPEAKER_01]: And maybe they don't even know that the environment is not safe because it could be a pain and it could be people at work.

[00:02:29] [SPEAKER_01]: They find themselves in yes, and they want to see Lorna with staying all the natural energy to see yes.

[00:02:33] [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm not sure if it's a waste of time, but some people would think they would see it with that.

[00:02:38] [SPEAKER_01]: If you're a people who are too senior then that you don't allow yourself to have your own needs and wants on your own preferences,

[00:02:47] [SPEAKER_01]: and you don't allow yourself to have your own needs, and you don't allow yourself to have your own needs.

[00:02:49] [SPEAKER_01]: And that means I think that leads us where we go to be exploited to be an opportunity to be abused.

[00:02:57] [SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, I think people please are as a survival mechanism for going to seek it actually is,

[00:03:02] [SPEAKER_01]: but a bit in nature of that is,

[00:03:05] [SPEAKER_01]: it's definitely from being a kind and kind and loving person that cares of people and wants to do nice things.

[00:03:09] [SPEAKER_01]: So people to help be considered and that's largely the way we go all the way out to do that is when someone is into that next.

[00:03:15] [SPEAKER_01]: There's like levels up, they promote themselves up and so they don't know the,

[00:03:19] [SPEAKER_01]: but they don't, they don't, they don't share to them.

[00:03:20] [SPEAKER_01]: They've probably done it in shame within the become the people who can use that because all the environment was not safe for them to have them.

[00:03:28] [SPEAKER_01]: So people who can use them once make taste is that on childhood because of when they's children start to taste the boundaries,

[00:03:35] [SPEAKER_01]: we start to feel like we're like, you see no, or try to say no and then we're being punished for seeing the way not wanting to do the thing that appear

[00:03:43] [SPEAKER_01]: perhaps or kid-giver works or do us, teach sure it doesn't want to do us as well.

[00:03:48] [SPEAKER_01]: And then you learn very quickly that we really lost more defying change and all the for us to just like,

[00:03:56] [SPEAKER_01]: change pretty simply. I don't waste a time, isn't sure if I see it, I just don't think it's good for us, they can get you a lot of more.

[00:04:03] [SPEAKER_01]: And you can find yourself surrounded by all the way on types of people, really unhealthy people.

[00:04:09] [SPEAKER_01]: You'll be assurant by takeups and other takeups don't have any elements.

[00:04:14] [SPEAKER_01]: So we have to put the limits there, we have to find our ages and we have to find out who they are or who they are, or who they're trying to change.

[00:04:20] [SPEAKER_01]: It's not easy to stop being with the things that could become one and there are years.

[00:04:26] [SPEAKER_02]: Such a big fan of your content just really resonate with me, and I just love the way you communicate and explain things in such a short form as well.

[00:04:37] [SPEAKER_02]: It was very reassuring, going, no I do do that.

[00:04:41] [SPEAKER_02]: It was like you're giving me permission to be me.

[00:04:43] [SPEAKER_02]: When I don't need to do that, I don't need to do this. I don't need to do that.

[00:04:47] [SPEAKER_02]: And I just love it and I'm quite safe to thank you for being here and here.

[00:04:51] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to talk that. I mean, it was a lot of the 70s.

[00:04:55] [SPEAKER_01]: So that definitely was not at sorts or you're not alone.

[00:05:00] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't think to individually correctly, I've dropped really.

[00:05:04] [SPEAKER_01]: You want to do that, that was bad. I fast spoke out and I know no look back and I realized as a child there was always a truth killer.

[00:05:11] [SPEAKER_01]: It was an interview and I don't see how intuitive I actually wasn't credible, since the child.

[00:05:17] [SPEAKER_01]: I could read it and I could see the shifl around the tunnel, language that somebody's eye twitching.

[00:05:22] [SPEAKER_01]: But I just get, I could tell what they mean, it's under his footsteps or walking all the corridor.

[00:05:25] [SPEAKER_01]: It's terms of what was going on.

[00:05:27] [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm a bit reacting to that as a child.

[00:05:30] [SPEAKER_01]: I wanted to have my pregnancy, I've seen myself as a real individual though.

[00:05:34] [SPEAKER_01]: But that was almost mocked out of me and she and I was a bad general.

[00:05:40] [SPEAKER_01]: I was a sensitive girl, you're too much, you're such a girm of me.

[00:05:45] [SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, no, as you can bother to tell, I'm really thankful.

[00:05:49] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, faint and hurt your arm and be really good with that.

[00:05:53] [SPEAKER_02]: Can you tell us your background and where you're from?

[00:05:57] [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm from Northearshire, Kloenning at Born and Rangloenning and the youngest of four children.

[00:06:05] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm just too stiff to best of last, I think.

[00:06:09] [SPEAKER_01]: I like to think that, but I could not have any different year.

[00:06:12] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, in the 70s it was you go out and play and tell the street lights.

[00:06:16] [SPEAKER_01]: Come on at night, can I?

[00:06:17] [SPEAKER_01]: But I've just a plenading father.

[00:06:20] [SPEAKER_01]: That was a teacher all skilled in it and in the 70s, you can imagine what I'm seeing here.

[00:06:25] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, kind of, kind of with the hands.

[00:06:28] [SPEAKER_01]: Great volatile, the dad was a music teacher when I'm using the musician.

[00:06:31] [SPEAKER_01]: So he's incredibly creative.

[00:06:33] [SPEAKER_01]: So I've actually got a lot of good things from him and to perform and to speak.

[00:06:38] [SPEAKER_01]: But what we were definitely told was to be quiet and shut up.

[00:06:41] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah.

[00:06:42] [SPEAKER_01]: So we've seen not heard sort of thing, not the, this is not heard.

[00:06:47] [SPEAKER_01]: And because I was an emotion, it seems to child and very.

[00:06:50] [SPEAKER_01]: Would react to the brutality of the whole or things were happening in adults and my life during the

[00:06:57] [SPEAKER_01]: 70s.

[00:06:58] [SPEAKER_01]: And that was not supported and that was different in what helped me to understand it, definitely

[00:07:03] [SPEAKER_01]: not supported to regularly.

[00:07:05] [SPEAKER_01]: So this will then, I think that's where that day, so I've been going on to the column of the other

[00:07:09] [SPEAKER_01]: people please are.

[00:07:12] [SPEAKER_01]: And I try to get that all throughout all relationships I would see.

[00:07:17] [SPEAKER_01]: Because that's what happens in it.

[00:07:18] [SPEAKER_01]: Like in childhoods, you have parents coming out of the following, how would you do relationships?

[00:07:23] [SPEAKER_01]: How to do friendships?

[00:07:24] [SPEAKER_01]: How do you treat all those things stuff like that?

[00:07:26] [SPEAKER_01]: So I definitely got very good at people pleasing and putting this view.

[00:07:29] [SPEAKER_01]: So in excellent at masking, I was like, I have to know I need to put me in a way.

[00:07:34] [SPEAKER_01]: And I did already.

[00:07:35] [SPEAKER_01]: But actually underneath that, I was incredibly unhappy.

[00:07:38] [SPEAKER_01]: Really looked back and seeing how to regularly to do all those most of my life, living

[00:07:43] [SPEAKER_01]: in faith to play most of my life, not knowing that.

[00:07:46] [SPEAKER_01]: Now I didn't know that.

[00:07:47] [SPEAKER_02]: It will point in your life.

[00:07:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Did you start to understand that sport you were doing?

[00:07:54] [SPEAKER_01]: And I knew that I was doing a people pleasing.

[00:07:57] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, well, I didn't know that in soloism for this.

[00:08:01] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know that because I grew up with a slay wonderful youngest.

[00:08:05] [SPEAKER_01]: I could say, try to discipline that ground history,

[00:08:09] [SPEAKER_01]: babe, whole teenage on lost, totally lost.

[00:08:14] [SPEAKER_01]: I had a misgap in music.

[00:08:16] [SPEAKER_01]: I knew it was dead like my escape, as far as I was good at.

[00:08:20] [SPEAKER_01]: It's also been a good validation.

[00:08:22] [SPEAKER_01]: I said, I'm so balling from my dad because he was in possession of it.

[00:08:25] [SPEAKER_01]: I was a lot of it.

[00:08:26] [SPEAKER_01]: I could play a lot of slow mixed to him and his piano.

[00:08:29] [SPEAKER_01]: So that was pretty hard.

[00:08:30] [SPEAKER_01]: I didn't actually get totally the only connection we had at the drug big board.

[00:08:34] [SPEAKER_01]: So there was an escape was music.

[00:08:36] [SPEAKER_01]: But as a teenager, I definitely don't know who I was.

[00:08:40] [SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, supported and I do not see that was supported at the way up in the home.

[00:08:45] [SPEAKER_01]: To find who you were, you know, kind of to be who they needed you to be.

[00:08:49] [SPEAKER_01]: But I struggled in school academically.

[00:08:51] [SPEAKER_01]: I very much couldn't keep it.

[00:08:53] [SPEAKER_01]: But I mean, I've also got 8 diamonds as a ADHD.

[00:08:56] [SPEAKER_01]: So now so much makes sense to me in how.

[00:08:59] [SPEAKER_01]: My brain was so busy all the time.

[00:09:02] [SPEAKER_01]: I didn't know that.

[00:09:03] [SPEAKER_01]: I definitely was just associated by a play day and.

[00:09:07] [SPEAKER_01]: Dish regularly to a lot of time.

[00:09:08] [SPEAKER_01]: Teenage are.

[00:09:10] [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, would never want to repeat those times.

[00:09:11] [SPEAKER_01]: I could really say that the time was 19 actually was diagnosed as depressed.

[00:09:17] [SPEAKER_01]: And I don't see why because of my environment and.

[00:09:22] [SPEAKER_01]: And just the things I see in you that was impacting me.

[00:09:26] [SPEAKER_01]: Of course it was some pattern of self is seen as an impact on my range of reals and fact.

[00:09:30] [SPEAKER_01]: And I mean, well, I didn't know that.

[00:09:33] [SPEAKER_01]: But people don't know that because it was all normal.

[00:09:36] [SPEAKER_01]: Shephedia was normal that then.

[00:09:38] [SPEAKER_01]: I saw right to show.

[00:09:39] [SPEAKER_01]: So right to draw things around.

[00:09:41] [SPEAKER_01]: So right to hit.

[00:09:42] [SPEAKER_01]: So it's fine.

[00:09:42] [SPEAKER_01]: It was normalized.

[00:09:44] [SPEAKER_01]: And now I understand to draw her that impact.

[00:09:46] [SPEAKER_01]: You and your members.

[00:09:47] [SPEAKER_01]: So all of the things we talk about today.

[00:09:51] [SPEAKER_02]: I think because it's.

[00:09:54] [SPEAKER_02]: It was normalized.

[00:09:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so it's normalized like going.

[00:10:00] [SPEAKER_02]: They're doing normal behavior.

[00:10:01] [SPEAKER_02]: But you're just seen as the bad.

[00:10:04] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a house.

[00:10:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I can tell that was right to.

[00:10:07] [SPEAKER_01]: Now, I've validated my energy.

[00:10:10] [SPEAKER_01]: So much because she was right and she was right all alone.

[00:10:14] [SPEAKER_01]: But there's assessments of others.

[00:10:16] [SPEAKER_01]: But it was wrong.

[00:10:17] [SPEAKER_01]: She was right.

[00:10:18] [SPEAKER_01]: She always was right.

[00:10:20] [SPEAKER_01]: She was told not so then I'd start lasting to my voice.

[00:10:22] [SPEAKER_01]: I've been in a lot of a sink to have that voice.

[00:10:24] [SPEAKER_01]: Therefore then I just think, hey, man, there's even people.

[00:10:27] [SPEAKER_01]: These are a third of what other people like to what they needed for.

[00:10:30] [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, okay, I've figured that I could walk out what needed before you.

[00:10:33] [SPEAKER_01]: You needed it yourself.

[00:10:35] [SPEAKER_01]: It everybody just thought others like, just magic.

[00:10:37] [SPEAKER_01]: But then I realized I'm just going to one shit in relationship after another.

[00:10:41] [SPEAKER_01]: Another shit in relationship meeting shit if things made people that also went out of the healthy.

[00:10:46] [SPEAKER_01]: Like, would burn down today and meet the earlys of all my own.

[00:10:48] [SPEAKER_01]: And so having no sales for absolutely no sales for steam.

[00:10:51] [SPEAKER_01]: Look at that.

[00:10:52] [SPEAKER_01]: I've seen my teenage years and I'd like to wear a piece of the length of school.

[00:10:56] [SPEAKER_01]: You're 50 years, which is for you to do your high.

[00:10:58] [SPEAKER_01]: So that I've done every single higher.

[00:11:01] [SPEAKER_01]: And I remember getting the drone in.

[00:11:02] [SPEAKER_01]: I looked through it and I knew that was the year was going to be a big episode.

[00:11:05] [SPEAKER_01]: But I thought that because I knew that would be ringing shame with the family because that was just not okay.

[00:11:11] [SPEAKER_01]: So I ran away, but then I came back and in a face, my feet,

[00:11:15] [SPEAKER_01]: I died away and then I was in an neighborhood.

[00:11:17] [SPEAKER_01]: And it made me feel like I was still there and there.

[00:11:19] [SPEAKER_01]: I said, you won't get a job.

[00:11:20] [SPEAKER_01]: And it was just for them to be a day into.

[00:11:22] [SPEAKER_01]: So I thought that was being told what to do then.

[00:11:24] [SPEAKER_01]: You wouldn't get to job in a day into a student.

[00:11:26] [SPEAKER_01]: You wouldn't be coming down to a large, annual water bank class.

[00:11:28] [SPEAKER_01]: And you will pay for the actual sales you will fix your men's.

[00:11:33] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't, I actually did that.

[00:11:34] [SPEAKER_01]: I became a day into a loss for a few years.

[00:11:37] [SPEAKER_01]: Shit, hated it.

[00:11:39] [SPEAKER_01]: And Frac, I remember being dead on happy, but I had to stay here because I had to do it there to say,

[00:11:43] [SPEAKER_01]: to wait to name, to feel like I dead to my eyes.

[00:11:45] [SPEAKER_01]: I had become a call if I didn't answer the chemical or thing.

[00:11:48] [SPEAKER_01]: I didn't hear the idea of that thought.

[00:11:50] [SPEAKER_01]: I would do what I do next because I knew I didn't want to stay.

[00:11:54] [SPEAKER_01]: And then that's where I was able to go off.

[00:11:56] [SPEAKER_01]: And I went into, it goes ahead to different diplomas and stuff.

[00:11:59] [SPEAKER_01]: But at that point, I was able to get into graduate scheme and I became a business manager.

[00:12:04] [SPEAKER_01]: And then, quickly went to the ranks of that.

[00:12:07] [SPEAKER_01]: So went into corporate world and became great.

[00:12:10] [SPEAKER_01]: No very senior actually, they ended up a dead rat for 16, 16 years.

[00:12:14] [SPEAKER_01]: That I was a HR manager for the New England student in an island.

[00:12:19] [SPEAKER_01]: So I went to a big post, they ended up.

[00:12:21] [SPEAKER_01]: I looked back in that post and I didn't have to go to a school for 98.

[00:12:26] [SPEAKER_01]: There's employees at that point.

[00:12:29] [SPEAKER_01]: I know, so that's a global conversation.

[00:12:31] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if I can see it.

[00:12:32] [SPEAKER_01]: But I think would ship company senior post, lots of response to that.

[00:12:36] [SPEAKER_01]: Robin Shortals with BP's direct pulse.

[00:12:39] [SPEAKER_01]: Really important people.

[00:12:41] [SPEAKER_01]: And I realized that I was a superb people who plays in that role.

[00:12:45] [SPEAKER_01]: That was good I've found serious validation of thought because I just,

[00:12:51] [SPEAKER_01]: was really good at it.

[00:12:52] [SPEAKER_01]: And I could step anywhere and I loved training people, I loved helping people.

[00:12:56] [SPEAKER_01]: I loved developing people.

[00:12:58] [SPEAKER_01]: I was doing it.

[00:12:59] [SPEAKER_01]: I really enjoyed being a leader.

[00:13:00] [SPEAKER_01]: I actually tried them being a leader.

[00:13:02] [SPEAKER_01]: I loved training people.

[00:13:04] [SPEAKER_01]: I bought a lot of trauma.

[00:13:05] [SPEAKER_01]: But the more you get in a business such as that and the higher you get up,

[00:13:09] [SPEAKER_01]: the business is like the more doctor that you know.

[00:13:13] [SPEAKER_01]: And I loved the company values that they got there.

[00:13:15] [SPEAKER_01]: I worked for a bit.

[00:13:15] [SPEAKER_01]: I started to see that the values were not to be displayed by the company.

[00:13:21] [SPEAKER_01]: The senior leadership and I realized that I was just going along to get along all the time.

[00:13:26] [SPEAKER_01]: Keeping other people happy, doing what they wanted me to do.

[00:13:28] [SPEAKER_01]: I could do it.

[00:13:29] [SPEAKER_01]: It's great.

[00:13:29] [SPEAKER_01]: I wasn't happy.

[00:13:30] [SPEAKER_01]: My own side was beginning to suffocate.

[00:13:33] [SPEAKER_01]: And there was a very pivotal moment when I resigned.

[00:13:36] [SPEAKER_01]: It was weighing one of the day.

[00:13:37] [SPEAKER_01]: It just forced to lay me on the,

[00:13:39] [SPEAKER_01]: and it actually let you in imagination run in I at.

[00:13:43] [SPEAKER_01]: And whatever you're thinking of probably right.

[00:13:45] [SPEAKER_01]: Total course of my own juice.

[00:13:47] [SPEAKER_01]: I really enjoyed working with us guy.

[00:13:50] [SPEAKER_01]: But that was like an instant that more late of the LA people.

[00:13:54] [SPEAKER_01]: Fuck.

[00:13:55] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[00:13:55] [SPEAKER_01]: You hear any what?

[00:13:57] [SPEAKER_01]: I do know what.

[00:13:58] [SPEAKER_01]: And you're the guy who had a reputation.

[00:14:01] [SPEAKER_01]: I was actually putting three double these reputation

[00:14:02] [SPEAKER_01]: of the truth they told.

[00:14:04] [SPEAKER_01]: I remember going to the national world.

[00:14:06] [SPEAKER_01]: I was a bit to national manager.

[00:14:07] [SPEAKER_01]: And she said, well, you don't always like.

[00:14:10] [SPEAKER_01]: Oh no, no.

[00:14:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Why?

[00:14:13] [SPEAKER_02]: I hate.

[00:14:14] [SPEAKER_02]: I just let them get away with it.

[00:14:16] [SPEAKER_02]: That's like fame because that's what he's like.

[00:14:19] [SPEAKER_02]: So I actually thought, oh, no, I ain't your right.

[00:14:21] [SPEAKER_01]: I know easily.

[00:14:23] [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, you're probably going to dig soon to bait into the ball away.

[00:14:27] [SPEAKER_00]: I got the tune.

[00:14:29] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to go to say an dimension with all the directors.

[00:14:35] [SPEAKER_01]: The next morning's talent meeting a bit of a coming talent

[00:14:38] [SPEAKER_01]: and a business.

[00:14:39] [SPEAKER_01]: You're always looking at those things.

[00:14:42] [SPEAKER_01]: And a, a little bit of a shit thing myself.

[00:14:44] [SPEAKER_01]: I was definitely slightly, slightly.

[00:14:47] [SPEAKER_01]: And I don't know.

[00:14:49] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't mind.

[00:14:50] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know what was going to happen.

[00:14:51] [SPEAKER_01]: I had to go in.

[00:14:52] [SPEAKER_01]: I remember sitting there in the table and he said,

[00:14:55] [SPEAKER_01]: right, lad,

[00:14:57] [SPEAKER_01]: longness he have to present blah, blah, blah.

[00:15:00] [SPEAKER_01]: The worry she's just one of us.

[00:15:03] [SPEAKER_01]: And I thought, no, no, no, no.

[00:15:06] [SPEAKER_01]: You're so.

[00:15:06] [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm a zined.

[00:15:07] [SPEAKER_01]: That day, that's when I was in.

[00:15:10] [SPEAKER_02]: And then did you do the presentation or did you just do that?

[00:15:14] [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, no, I did.

[00:15:15] [SPEAKER_01]: I did it.

[00:15:15] [SPEAKER_01]: And I had to stay till our weeks because they've been let it all go because just the

[00:15:19] [SPEAKER_01]: water's in your sea.

[00:15:20] [SPEAKER_01]: They too much as well.

[00:15:21] [SPEAKER_01]: It can you walk away and want to them to let it walk away.

[00:15:24] [SPEAKER_01]: And I spoke to another two senior leaders and the residents that they would have

[00:15:28] [SPEAKER_01]: been to me will be dead.

[00:15:30] [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm going to put a bit of a bad taste.

[00:15:32] [SPEAKER_01]: And my mouth people don't know that's why I like the company.

[00:15:34] [SPEAKER_01]: I kept it quiet because why?

[00:15:37] [SPEAKER_01]: Because I was up here with those.

[00:15:39] [SPEAKER_01]: Why?

[00:15:39] [SPEAKER_01]: I wanted to do the right thing.

[00:15:41] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, be the bigger person.

[00:15:45] [SPEAKER_01]: Fuck that.

[00:15:46] [SPEAKER_01]: I'll never do that again.

[00:15:47] [SPEAKER_01]: That's why I can't stand it by slag.

[00:15:50] [SPEAKER_01]: Be the bigger person.

[00:15:52] [SPEAKER_01]: Walk away.

[00:15:53] [SPEAKER_01]: Know that I see that stage of my life and all the other relationships previous to that

[00:15:56] [SPEAKER_01]: friendships voice busy.

[00:15:59] [SPEAKER_01]: Been into.

[00:16:00] [SPEAKER_01]: So I never never used my other life.

[00:16:01] [SPEAKER_01]: I was always an order to.

[00:16:03] [SPEAKER_01]: And hold these people accountable.

[00:16:06] [SPEAKER_01]: And yeah, I do it now.

[00:16:09] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm so I'm talking to talk.

[00:16:11] [SPEAKER_01]: I talked to the people.

[00:16:13] [SPEAKER_01]: They're a bit of a bad, good state.

[00:16:17] [SPEAKER_01]: And then.

[00:16:18] [SPEAKER_01]: What's the charity?

[00:16:19] [SPEAKER_01]: I'll local charity.

[00:16:19] [SPEAKER_01]: So no longer was actually I've not done the country anymore.

[00:16:23] [SPEAKER_01]: I was now in local which was really cute.

[00:16:25] [SPEAKER_01]: It was a local charity.

[00:16:26] [SPEAKER_01]: It was taught me a shit mood.

[00:16:28] [SPEAKER_01]: But life I did not know that people were hungry.

[00:16:31] [SPEAKER_01]: When I was there, but don't know people were so isolated.

[00:16:34] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know either that means or help.

[00:16:35] [SPEAKER_01]: I didn't want to stop poverty.

[00:16:36] [SPEAKER_01]: I didn't know.

[00:16:38] [SPEAKER_01]: I had worked in this corporate world that's completely blanked.

[00:16:42] [SPEAKER_01]: Not in the reality of life.

[00:16:44] [SPEAKER_01]: Then what was going on in our own communities.

[00:16:47] [SPEAKER_01]: So this charity taught me such a lot about life and itself that someone will make it change

[00:16:52] [SPEAKER_01]: me.

[00:16:52] [SPEAKER_01]: It opened my mind.

[00:16:54] [SPEAKER_01]: I became a very different person very quickly.

[00:16:58] [SPEAKER_01]: And at the same time, you know, my life changing more than happens as well.

[00:17:02] [SPEAKER_01]: As a pattern I started that is being spoken all the time.

[00:17:05] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not one of my pages.

[00:17:07] [SPEAKER_01]: You see every clip that you're listening to is what has happened to me from there.

[00:17:11] [SPEAKER_01]: And then there's a dead sub-soldermilly car park and turn it.

[00:17:15] [SPEAKER_01]: That's what I'm talking about.

[00:17:16] [SPEAKER_01]: It was a busy day, clear and had to wake up and had to realize that an asshole people and

[00:17:23] [SPEAKER_01]: they are untangely, harm and hate and then naturally.

[00:17:28] [SPEAKER_01]: That took me to many sort of as I'm suggesting.

[00:17:30] [SPEAKER_01]: It was types of people.

[00:17:33] [SPEAKER_01]: I know that it's orthopedic.

[00:17:35] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm taking my therapist.

[00:17:38] [SPEAKER_01]: That was after doing something that could help me out the whole because people pleasing took

[00:17:43] [SPEAKER_01]: me to the place I didn't want to live in and what?

[00:17:46] [SPEAKER_01]: That's the truth, right?

[00:17:48] [SPEAKER_01]: I was in the worst place you could ever imagine.

[00:17:51] [SPEAKER_01]: And that was the cause of things that I needed a bit credibly in officer.

[00:17:53] [SPEAKER_01]: And that's the stuff that I did right.

[00:17:55] [SPEAKER_01]: It's from watch damage to me and my life.

[00:17:58] [SPEAKER_01]: And I actually could make some other video, came to those discussed that.

[00:18:03] [SPEAKER_01]: I had to change because if I didn't, I was going to use that.

[00:18:07] [SPEAKER_01]: That was when the veil came off because I went to therapy and it looked like the help me to understand

[00:18:13] [SPEAKER_01]: a motion of use when that permission.

[00:18:16] [SPEAKER_01]: Artistic abuse and to help me listen to my own, but I'm always there.

[00:18:20] [SPEAKER_01]: That hadn't been listened to in years.

[00:18:22] [SPEAKER_01]: They've seen more than to rely.

[00:18:23] [SPEAKER_01]: They're associated to pleasing everybody.

[00:18:26] [SPEAKER_01]: One to be like, have a no-agent just being there, caring just just shit.

[00:18:32] [SPEAKER_01]: So now I was waiting an up until we cop was bitter of talk.

[00:18:36] [SPEAKER_01]: It was bitter at all because I had to kill off cops on me.

[00:18:41] [SPEAKER_01]: The hard to take off are actually if they're long enough.

[00:18:44] [SPEAKER_01]: She's still in the abyss of her and I still look at her on the maps of her.

[00:18:48] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know that people please she's, and all of which she's obsessed with.

[00:18:52] [SPEAKER_01]: I went to Glee to do an hour after the matenta.

[00:18:56] [SPEAKER_01]: But my dish would be awesome.

[00:18:57] [SPEAKER_01]: I think coming down who I was meant to be.

[00:19:00] [SPEAKER_01]: Like should he do I know?

[00:19:02] [SPEAKER_01]: I always wanted to shut that down and do it with AG's now or with boundaries.

[00:19:07] [SPEAKER_01]: And I do it with Kia in compulsion.

[00:19:09] [SPEAKER_01]: There's no evidence and come from the angle that to be true.

[00:19:12] [SPEAKER_01]: So I also changed me.

[00:19:14] [SPEAKER_01]: But I'm never so dealing with how come to me.

[00:19:18] [SPEAKER_02]: How does that make you feel?

[00:19:20] [SPEAKER_02]: I saw it in your eyes just like that a little bit of sadness.

[00:19:24] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah because there's grief that I can't deny that there was going to be grief which what has happened.

[00:19:30] [SPEAKER_01]: Well let me get me down and say it because I have to still protect people because there's people in my life that are still a part of my story.

[00:19:36] [SPEAKER_01]: But when I walked into an autistic family, I still went on a positive and it was laid by an autistic female, which was his mother.

[00:19:45] [SPEAKER_01]: And she's a dangerous woman. She caused me great time and there was no evidence of staying in her intentional.

[00:19:56] [SPEAKER_01]: That it was I think I lost a lot of people by what she's done and so is my husband.

[00:20:03] [SPEAKER_01]: It's been one of the most hardest things to get here.

[00:20:07] [SPEAKER_01]: I found that a parent, Karen and well, the heaves in the need that she had an intentionary.

[00:20:17] [SPEAKER_01]: She had to control window many people and to manipulate them to potentially help with the two.

[00:20:23] [SPEAKER_01]: So what was and his own partner, the plan was what came to her like, and now I was enduring that for years until I saw him.

[00:20:31] [SPEAKER_01]: The municipal code that all things wanted the whole family came to its knees and that's the foundationally healthy family.

[00:20:38] [SPEAKER_01]: I found it to join it's been by some distance.

[00:20:43] [SPEAKER_01]: That's a clear signal that family is built in a house, house, a lies, just getting to whatever all that is.

[00:21:00] [SPEAKER_01]: That level of deliciousness that I gained, the experience and the abuse that I did.

[00:21:07] [SPEAKER_01]: By many people that I'd tell me to start to assess other people in my life as they were just the lowest of that new family.

[00:21:17] [SPEAKER_01]: It means the lowest of friendships too because I started to be called the people who are having a loss of what people in my life

[00:21:23] [SPEAKER_01]: Because I realized how I was and how healthy those people were for me.

[00:21:28] [SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, there's been a great deal of loss, my way. So that what you saw is the path of me that still leaves thoughts because people turned on me for speaking up against the gifts which that will all do.

[00:21:43] [SPEAKER_01]: What's that all about? What about the hill are you talking about? You know I'm the skateboard addict or what and even and I know I was the skateboard because somebody admitted to me later on it was easier to put other than you.

[00:21:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Do you feel that it's an easier life? They think it's more work.

[00:22:04] [SPEAKER_01]: The protecting the people and that I have used and they're protecting themselves because they too are being abusive.

[00:22:11] [SPEAKER_01]: And the protecting themselves from being isolated and being negative and the way that I was because they were that's what's happening.

[00:22:18] [SPEAKER_01]: But you were danced and asked the statistic, perhaps like that. You're going to be punished for that. You know there is no healthy conversations.

[00:22:26] [SPEAKER_01]: You know let me understand honestly, I'm not even treating you like that. You're like, but you're right. Let me understand.

[00:22:31] [SPEAKER_01]: Like me to me. That's not happening with people like that. They're like, you are the problem and we're going to, you know, you pay for seeing that.

[00:22:41] [SPEAKER_02]: That's not normal. It's just normal. Can I ask advice to someone listening right now who sees it and wants to speak up or speak up?

[00:22:54] [SPEAKER_02]: They're actually doubting themselves going well if there's time to speak in against one or two, three, four. Like ten people that say family or friends or whatever big but a judge is it.

[00:23:05] [SPEAKER_02]: The ten people or is it the one person, it'll be the one person because there's ten against one and does that not make you doubt yourself?

[00:23:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Maybe it's me. Maybe I am playing. Is that not a scary moment of horrible?

[00:23:19] [SPEAKER_01]: And that was where that point in my life was as far as then why I like if any more because I didn't know what I was about because of all these people are saying this, the believing that's terrifying.

[00:23:32] [SPEAKER_01]: And let's go to any. Yeah, and but it's that if you ask me to give somebody advice, listen to their voice, you know you've got an intuition, you have got one.

[00:23:46] [SPEAKER_01]: If it's shrieking and it's telling you something, draw something as all.

[00:23:53] [SPEAKER_01]: And if it's telling you something is all, something is all. Listen to your body. If you don't have a thought, so you try to make out, we just thought, so listen to your body, right?

[00:24:04] [SPEAKER_01]: Because you're bringing yourself to what you're bringing yourself to what you're trying to do, isn't it?

[00:24:06] [SPEAKER_01]: Sure, she's it's her actually less than she'll go a little. It'll tell me the answer. And if you don't trust it, we show to a service, some they'll immediately know that perfection just reach out to somebody that knows this subject until you're not because not having gender standards is subject and people don't think it's as bad as what I'm describing it or it's bad.

[00:24:29] [SPEAKER_01]: It's the worst thing about to get through narcissistic abuse and emotional abuse, psychological abuse, what's there? People don't think it's as bad as physical abuse, book and matter.

[00:24:38] [SPEAKER_01]: And in fact, emotional abuse is a call as soon as all abuse has to be closed and there are any abuse to be yourself.

[00:24:46] [SPEAKER_01]: Listen to your body as well, see and lead you from help speak to someone and say that something, something to listen, a foolish shit.

[00:24:54] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm really sorry that you know have to fulfill that. But look at me doing good enough that you're not, you know, as I think that's for Joel.

[00:25:06] [SPEAKER_01]: I think that and I would never say that to somebody in my room, right away. And no use what's happened to you to heal others or never say that.

[00:25:14] [SPEAKER_01]: That would be so much part of the airsing and under the meaning of the person who's trauma, but I've chosen to do that. I've just chosen to use my appeal and to help follow us.

[00:25:24] [SPEAKER_01]: To use it as a manual for all those of us to give all our people to validate people's experiences, I've just chosen that direction.

[00:25:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Right. If you were right. Yeah, and I feel it is right to trust you even more because you understand what's going through.

[00:25:41] [SPEAKER_02]: And there's a bit of it and just going, you get it.

[00:25:44] [SPEAKER_01]: I do and I look at that. John, may I'm explaining to you from childhood to being an emotionally volatile situation.

[00:25:50] [SPEAKER_01]: You can see when I'd learnt lots of different coping mechanisms and patterns I need people pleasing and go dependency.

[00:25:55] [SPEAKER_01]: And you can see my teenage years where I really was actually very sad and the bridge you are doing, my unremotive patterns. That just transferred all the way through and to working like doing as I was told,

[00:26:07] [SPEAKER_01]: becoming actually an outstanding and a career so that I could get validation. You can just see their lawners,

[00:26:11] [SPEAKER_01]: your armage is straighted all the way through until buying life weight and that's enough and I'm not going to show you.

[00:26:19] [SPEAKER_01]: You're part of what it's doing, you are losing yourself, you're lost, you're not being really, and I do believe that's happening to me now.

[00:26:27] [SPEAKER_01]: I can say that in the beginning, I couldn't say that.

[00:26:29] [SPEAKER_01]: Because you know, we could understand why some of it would behave and what was happening to me is that it was progress, but no.

[00:26:36] [SPEAKER_01]: I see the whole thing it led me to unravel that whole bunch of experiences that made me this,

[00:26:44] [SPEAKER_01]: Camelia that was able to do that and I didn't know that that devil doesn't exist.

[00:26:48] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm still caring, I'm extremely kind, I'm extremely, you know, care of people,

[00:26:54] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm so sure and just like in such a sense, it's a very, really sense of back injuries now.

[00:27:00] [SPEAKER_01]: And no new I am, and I know who I'm not, and I look totally in every trying to tell where who I'm not or who I'm,

[00:27:08] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm thinking because I don't know that I deeply, I'm looking at all of the, you know,

[00:27:13] [SPEAKER_01]: the only ones that I'm not saying I could literally kill to, I don't want that sort of thing.

[00:27:18] [SPEAKER_01]: And I think that made me just continue to evolve, but I definitely am an old way to get a position.

[00:27:22] [SPEAKER_01]: I've ever been the whole entire list in all of my own and that means we'll have different fuckers me.

[00:27:27] [SPEAKER_01]: I know they can give me his daily's left, they end up again because I see it now.

[00:27:32] [SPEAKER_02]: And then when people are starting to hope that realization and start to see the pattern,

[00:27:37] [SPEAKER_02]: yeah, that's their word.

[00:27:39] [SPEAKER_02]: Patum, Patum, Patum, Patum, Patum, you took the words that I'm a mouth.

[00:27:44] [SPEAKER_02]: And when I was there, something, when I was there, I started to realize and see the patterns and the history and go at them.

[00:27:54] [SPEAKER_02]: That's me, I've done them, I have people placed and then you know, and obviously it opened up and attracted these people into my life.

[00:28:03] [SPEAKER_02]: They have the same personality, the same behaviors.

[00:28:08] [SPEAKER_02]: When you have that realization and learn that and you see it all, it's like taking a pill in the matrix.

[00:28:14] [SPEAKER_01]: If you ever blame yourself, I was angry at myself, I was going through the whole, I was aggrieved again, like, grateful that the law sees.

[00:28:26] [SPEAKER_01]: So I had the one through the point when I was angry at myself, yeah, oh yeah, like, I did decide, I'm quite, yeah, I can't believe I'm gonna stop.

[00:28:37] [SPEAKER_01]: Can't believe I'll get into that.

[00:28:38] [SPEAKER_01]: Can't believe, you know, they can't believe, can't believe you did it.

[00:28:42] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, just stupid, just stupid, I would do all that.

[00:28:45] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but it was comfortable, no, I understand how comfortable it was for me to be in situations where there was being desksufed

[00:28:52] [SPEAKER_01]: and where people were taking trauma, but people were being in such a small place.

[00:28:55] [SPEAKER_01]: Because I had no blood danger, so I had never been taught them to use.

[00:28:59] [SPEAKER_01]: So I never had self-fulfacing.

[00:29:01] [SPEAKER_01]: So this was normal, I could then operate in volatile, unsatmonsive, shitty environment, some species and places that people could do it.

[00:29:12] [SPEAKER_01]: Can't do it now, can't do it now, my body could torps, it's like my body, honestly, so I could do it.

[00:29:18] [SPEAKER_01]: When I'm at him, somebody that is not loving a call of him tomorrow.

[00:29:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, me too, I feel so drained.

[00:29:25] [SPEAKER_02]: I remember being so fast and I looked back at myself and the things that I achieved and the things that I did and I'm like,

[00:29:33] [SPEAKER_02]: whoa, but no, it's something happens.

[00:29:36] [SPEAKER_02]: I cannot take it.

[00:29:37] [SPEAKER_02]: And you'll with you, and I just kind of like stop talking to someone in this back off of it because my brain can't take it anymore.

[00:29:46] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, it's, I don't think I'm draining you all the section on your front, I was like,

[00:29:51] [SPEAKER_01]: the drain in your special effects, like that's a two-weeks annual from drained, oh, toxic, if a left-winger plays well, seriously toxic.

[00:29:59] [SPEAKER_02]: What advice would you give to women, if you're looking to stop people, please?

[00:30:03] [SPEAKER_01]: All right, so you want to be just simple advice and how to hold and maintain your boundaries.

[00:30:08] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, somewhat those to augmenting down juice would be three things then I'll give you my module on how I don't mind if they're in vain.

[00:30:15] [SPEAKER_01]: You make sure you know your priorities, no your priorities.

[00:30:21] [SPEAKER_01]: Detailment of what's important to you that you want to deal with right now.

[00:30:26] [SPEAKER_01]: No, you want it for the right now and you'll feel like that's like, what the jam, I want to make sure I'm trying to do what I don't want to do business.

[00:30:35] [SPEAKER_01]: I want to maintain it and someone takes it a lot.

[00:30:40] [SPEAKER_01]: Hold on to what's really important to you right now and there's the first thing right.

[00:30:44] [SPEAKER_01]: So the first chair, because as for some of the tasks or view that I'm safe, they're asking you to do so.

[00:30:50] [SPEAKER_01]: They want some control, you know, the way to be careful and to do so.

[00:30:53] [SPEAKER_01]: The first chair, because it isn't in keeping with my priorities.

[00:30:56] [SPEAKER_01]: And if it's not all, the reaction is like, I'm asking that I'll feed, I don't have the taste of that today.

[00:31:02] [SPEAKER_01]: So it's not going to give them a minute.

[00:31:03] [SPEAKER_01]: So checking out trial, it's next thing is you are in bonus.

[00:31:09] [SPEAKER_01]: It's what they're asking of you going against your values.

[00:31:13] [SPEAKER_01]: Does it meet your values?

[00:31:14] [SPEAKER_01]: And if it's against your values, so that's really important to know your values then and it's to be important to bring your unconscious values to the consciousness.

[00:31:22] [SPEAKER_01]: Because they're the same person.

[00:31:23] [SPEAKER_01]: In fact, if you know your values then that should be painted them with neon lights to make sure that then you're always staying in track with your values.

[00:31:30] [SPEAKER_01]: So know your values and run out running on a sense when someone's asking or if it's against your values.

[00:31:37] [SPEAKER_01]: Then it's a little bit of a cryore.

[00:31:40] [SPEAKER_01]: Is that I get the ask and we start, it goes against my priorities.

[00:31:42] [SPEAKER_01]: It's a role. It goes against my values. It's a no, dubbed one main or health and I know Jay.

[00:31:48] [SPEAKER_01]: If what they're asking of me is going against, it's not going to help my main to heal.

[00:31:51] [SPEAKER_01]: Or don't have the energy for it.

[00:31:53] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't have to thank for it.

[00:31:54] [SPEAKER_01]: Then it's a no.

[00:31:55] [SPEAKER_01]: So the three things I always run on this thought are owners, is this and take my priorities?

[00:31:59] [SPEAKER_01]: Is this in keeping the values?

[00:32:01] [SPEAKER_01]: And there's this in keeping the main, the main, the main, the whole thing that energy do have a happy thing to do this.

[00:32:05] [SPEAKER_01]: And there's other things I know, external and totally guilty.

[00:32:11] [SPEAKER_01]: Because the very meaning of guilt means that we've done something wrong.

[00:32:14] [SPEAKER_01]: You're not doing it in a role by protecting your main or hate, by letting to your values

[00:32:20] [SPEAKER_01]: And by making sure that you're committing to your priorities.

[00:32:26] [SPEAKER_01]: What boundaries are a lot obviously ways to protect us, they'll also make sure that we keep people in their lives.

[00:32:32] [SPEAKER_01]: What it's useless to be guilty about that?

[00:32:35] [SPEAKER_01]: And actually what it really is, is it being loyal to yourself?

[00:32:39] [SPEAKER_01]: It's basically to think of a loyal thing.

[00:32:41] [SPEAKER_01]: If I use that, we show them that it's a personal and your priorities, but I wasn't going to help that you use that all the time.

[00:32:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Here's the thing when you start putting up boundaries though, and you start losing people from your life.

[00:32:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Because you start people pleasing and you're putting the boundaries up.

[00:32:55] [SPEAKER_02]: But you turn around and you're like, you actually have nobody.

[00:33:00] [SPEAKER_02]: You know, there's so many people that you've lost.

[00:33:04] [SPEAKER_02]: But I think it was a friend that said to me, but you're actually, which she said to me was,

[00:33:10] [SPEAKER_02]: you're actually opening up to new friendships and relationships.

[00:33:15] [SPEAKER_02]: But that's scary as well. It's unknown territory.

[00:33:20] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. That is, I think it's part of the deal.

[00:33:23] [SPEAKER_01]: I think that's true.

[00:33:25] [SPEAKER_01]: I think becoming who you've been meant to be, these loves.

[00:33:30] [SPEAKER_01]: You don't test some people on.

[00:33:32] [SPEAKER_01]: You're going to pit pests of people on.

[00:33:35] [SPEAKER_01]: It's a great bullshit for what? When you start becoming the thing you made to be,

[00:33:38] [SPEAKER_01]: because you've started to notice who's reacted and who's welcome in it.

[00:33:41] [SPEAKER_01]: Who's welcoming or changing? Who's sailor, who's cheering you on?

[00:33:45] [SPEAKER_01]: Who's saying, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:33:47] [SPEAKER_01]: They're loving it, we're loving it.

[00:33:48] [SPEAKER_01]: And who is in this reactant to it? Who's like, cry on you?

[00:33:51] [SPEAKER_01]: Who's going to be, who's been in your down? Who's dismissing you?

[00:33:56] [SPEAKER_01]: Who's Dibellion?

[00:33:58] [SPEAKER_01]: Those people should go away to me because they're never for you in this place.

[00:34:02] [SPEAKER_01]: Because what I've learned about that running the milkshake, though I don't know.

[00:34:04] [SPEAKER_01]: Ask him, but he'll have in my Norway speaking my needs.

[00:34:07] [SPEAKER_01]: What kindness always entertains them, you start to see those for you who's not.

[00:34:12] [SPEAKER_01]: So I, that's because back to your thing earlier,

[00:34:14] [SPEAKER_01]: they'll only start to talk more and more and more and more people.

[00:34:17] [SPEAKER_01]: And rightfully so.

[00:34:19] [SPEAKER_01]: And it's right to listen.

[00:34:21] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'm happy I did because the people up all round are going to be known.

[00:34:26] [SPEAKER_01]: The other people are happy with my happiness and sadness.

[00:34:31] [SPEAKER_01]: And that's all you need to have like,

[00:34:34] [SPEAKER_01]: we don't need people but we definitely don't need people that are

[00:34:40] [SPEAKER_01]: not respect to us and exploiting us.

[00:34:44] [SPEAKER_01]: That's so many people exploit matters.

[00:34:45] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, like that, like God brings exploited mankind as a minority.

[00:34:50] [SPEAKER_01]: Because I'm such a good boy.

[00:34:51] [SPEAKER_01]: Really generous with my time.

[00:34:53] [SPEAKER_01]: Jerren is my resource, generous like I could do for you.

[00:34:56] [SPEAKER_01]: I could, I could, I could get a job, I could get, you know, I could get,

[00:35:00] [SPEAKER_01]: I could do all sorts of things for people and people

[00:35:02] [SPEAKER_01]: exploit to that kindness without limit.

[00:35:05] [SPEAKER_01]: Now I've got limits and that doesn't make an asshole.

[00:35:10] [SPEAKER_01]: That makes me really wise person that's looking out for myself

[00:35:13] [SPEAKER_01]: when I made a model to myself.

[00:35:16] [SPEAKER_01]: And don't, like, you know, don't think of it that it's an extra.

[00:35:19] [SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes I make a mess.

[00:35:20] [SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes I go back and result to old videos because I'm a big trigger

[00:35:23] [SPEAKER_01]: or something's come back and I'm saying,

[00:35:25] [SPEAKER_01]: just to still understand, I don't want to throw myself in that position.

[00:35:28] [SPEAKER_01]: What I do know is I don't think myself, but when I've done it,

[00:35:32] [SPEAKER_01]: that's that old woman that still exists within me.

[00:35:34] [SPEAKER_01]: She's scared in that moment. She's fearful of,

[00:35:37] [SPEAKER_01]: she didn't want to be rejected.

[00:35:38] [SPEAKER_01]: She didn't want somebody to think of something bad or she didn't want somebody

[00:35:42] [SPEAKER_01]: to think that she was a bad person.

[00:35:45] [SPEAKER_01]: So, I'm daily much good person at that part of me,

[00:35:48] [SPEAKER_01]: even she's, but I said yes to something and she should have

[00:35:51] [SPEAKER_01]: said not. I just fall for you learn it with it.

[00:35:54] [SPEAKER_01]: The thing that she's done and we don't do it again.

[00:35:57] [SPEAKER_01]: We just learn from each time they make mistakes.

[00:36:00] [SPEAKER_01]: That's the thing, because he almost pops up his mail rather than

[00:36:02] [SPEAKER_01]: got, ah, okay, what should then they do that?

[00:36:04] [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I need to avoid it yourself. He just thinks,

[00:36:06] [SPEAKER_01]: oh, boy, did I just say it myself?

[00:36:09] [SPEAKER_01]: I always say, oh, I'm to be better to be compaging

[00:36:11] [SPEAKER_01]: to yourself understandably that actually came

[00:36:14] [SPEAKER_01]: in front of the case of fear. It's a place of continuing

[00:36:17] [SPEAKER_01]: that slide you know, that's okay.

[00:36:19] [SPEAKER_01]: But we'll do it again and then they're going.

[00:36:23] [SPEAKER_02]: And that's a, like learning process and it's so,

[00:36:26] [SPEAKER_02]: it's a given yourself permission and not be too hard for yourself

[00:36:29] [SPEAKER_01]: and be guilty to the heart, but it's, we better, this heart

[00:36:34] [SPEAKER_01]: is way better to believe that you're living

[00:36:37] [SPEAKER_01]: when people are just being a sitting there.

[00:36:40] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, it's because you'd actually be near a dishonest thing

[00:36:42] [SPEAKER_01]: and he's, it's actually quite an act.

[00:36:44] [SPEAKER_02]: To be happy with these and then I, yeah,

[00:36:47] [SPEAKER_02]: you've put on so many math and

[00:36:51] [SPEAKER_02]: you're not being treated anybody else

[00:36:54] [SPEAKER_02]: and then you're into him or so.

[00:36:56] [SPEAKER_01]: And not just that big at that point.

[00:36:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, that's quite weird when you say that.

[00:37:00] [SPEAKER_01]: So we're going to have to say that.

[00:37:01] [SPEAKER_01]: And actually, I'm just, well, because you're actually going all over

[00:37:04] [SPEAKER_01]: then and that's not what we meant.

[00:37:05] [SPEAKER_01]: So you really know what's on there.

[00:37:07] [SPEAKER_01]: Not just, well, I mean, I can't keep all that.

[00:37:11] [SPEAKER_01]: And very devoted.

[00:37:12] [SPEAKER_01]: These men are not, no, no, I'm just, I think that danger to say

[00:37:15] [SPEAKER_01]: I've got, like, rich like, because you're not sure

[00:37:18] [SPEAKER_01]: me who you are.

[00:37:19] [SPEAKER_01]: I want you to challenge me.

[00:37:20] [SPEAKER_01]: I want me to be honest, I want you to go along

[00:37:23] [SPEAKER_01]: be you.

[00:37:23] [SPEAKER_01]: Demi that don't give me the, oh,

[00:37:25] [SPEAKER_01]: I want to hear me because things are,

[00:37:26] [SPEAKER_01]: oh, yeah, I think that too, I'm, like, you know,

[00:37:28] [SPEAKER_01]: that's all on that.

[00:37:29] [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, okay.

[00:37:30] [SPEAKER_01]: You don't have any other opinions.

[00:37:32] [SPEAKER_01]: That's a shame, you just, you know, I'm not,

[00:37:35] [SPEAKER_01]: you know, judging you, you're a pussy, but I am at the same time

[00:37:38] [SPEAKER_01]: because it can't be an engine.

[00:37:41] [SPEAKER_01]: Does that make sense?

[00:37:42] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it really is.

[00:37:43] [SPEAKER_01]: But you're going to take me back.

[00:37:45] [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm not anxious if there's something

[00:37:46] [SPEAKER_01]: tickling my bearer to make you feel better.

[00:37:48] [SPEAKER_01]: But I still, I do that for myself.

[00:37:50] [SPEAKER_01]: I want you to tell me all the things.

[00:37:51] [SPEAKER_01]: I just, I put myself for steam in the hands.

[00:37:55] [SPEAKER_01]: Although the people myself for steam was on how successful

[00:37:58] [SPEAKER_01]: was the business, how successful.

[00:37:59] [SPEAKER_01]: How did somebody think all we have is my car, my hands, my bloody handbag,

[00:38:03] [SPEAKER_01]: my shoes, my clothes, every single museum said,

[00:38:06] [SPEAKER_01]: this douche, a temporary and then what I learned to do

[00:38:11] [SPEAKER_01]: is becoming incredibly self-aware.

[00:38:12] [SPEAKER_01]: We are incredibly self-wantious.

[00:38:14] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to resolve conversations with myself to see what

[00:38:17] [SPEAKER_01]: fuck are you doing?

[00:38:20] [SPEAKER_01]: This is harming you.

[00:38:21] [SPEAKER_01]: I made it up.

[00:38:22] [SPEAKER_01]: Is this helping you and harming?

[00:38:23] [SPEAKER_02]: It won't be so difficult.

[00:38:25] [SPEAKER_02]: We're not risking the biggest influence in your life.

[00:38:31] [SPEAKER_01]: Two people.

[00:38:34] [SPEAKER_01]: And just, I've started off with my husband

[00:38:36] [SPEAKER_01]: just one of the most important people in the right.

[00:38:42] [SPEAKER_01]: And got a taught me how to love and how to be loved

[00:38:46] [SPEAKER_01]: and he's been pivotal in my healing

[00:38:50] [SPEAKER_01]: and helping me to feel safe

[00:38:54] [SPEAKER_01]: and being who he's being each and each and kind

[00:38:58] [SPEAKER_01]: in love and considerate.

[00:39:00] [SPEAKER_01]: And he's such a chillie that I've made, just she has made one.

[00:39:04] [SPEAKER_01]: So he's an influence season you take, keep going

[00:39:06] [SPEAKER_01]: and when my head goes down and I think I can't do it,

[00:39:10] [SPEAKER_01]: he's the one that's just always there

[00:39:11] [SPEAKER_01]: just saying come on, then we can't.

[00:39:14] [SPEAKER_01]: Just says all the right things.

[00:39:16] [SPEAKER_01]: He's definitely got that bad.

[00:39:18] [SPEAKER_01]: And I give him that in return.

[00:39:21] [SPEAKER_01]: These amazing.

[00:39:22] [SPEAKER_01]: And the second person would be my son, Ross.

[00:39:27] [SPEAKER_01]: And Ross has been like, I don't know.

[00:39:31] [SPEAKER_01]: He's like a mirror to me.

[00:39:34] [SPEAKER_01]: He teaches me so much each and every day.

[00:39:39] [SPEAKER_01]: He taught me to do every day to pay our students.

[00:39:41] [SPEAKER_01]: To me, so do things definitely a challenge he's name.

[00:39:45] [SPEAKER_01]: And I love this fact that he's got an app name in our love.

[00:39:47] [SPEAKER_01]: This fact, he's an under veggie.

[00:39:49] [SPEAKER_01]: But really how that was how to release it.

[00:39:51] [SPEAKER_01]: To support that because that's a monochrome in with the coming forward.

[00:39:55] [SPEAKER_01]: And you've got to do that and they'll show up,

[00:39:58] [SPEAKER_01]: show up, stop that morning, because I need to help him become

[00:40:02] [SPEAKER_01]: who he is.

[00:40:03] [SPEAKER_01]: He's taught me, and he's helped me practice becoming the person I see

[00:40:14] [SPEAKER_01]: and I'm so he's a good one.

[00:40:19] [SPEAKER_01]: My son is amazing.

[00:40:21] [SPEAKER_01]: A lot of it.

[00:40:25] [SPEAKER_02]: At the end of the rip, I have every woman to have a quote.

[00:40:29] [SPEAKER_02]: I have a quote that I live by every day.

[00:40:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Just make sense when you share yours with us.

[00:40:37] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it was easy.

[00:40:38] [SPEAKER_01]: It's on the street to the mass signature of my email.

[00:40:40] [SPEAKER_01]: That saying, being here, you want to be not who they want me to be.

[00:40:45] [SPEAKER_01]: And you can see why I see that.

[00:40:47] [SPEAKER_01]: I've been looking at my whole life.

[00:40:48] [SPEAKER_01]: I was fitting in well, get all the money's once,

[00:40:52] [SPEAKER_01]: and sometimes lie in rates.

[00:40:55] [SPEAKER_01]: It's about growing up.

[00:40:56] [SPEAKER_01]: And that was doing that because I thought I had to be well.

[00:41:00] [SPEAKER_01]: I would get love and affection attention or whatever.

[00:41:03] [SPEAKER_01]: I've done a lot of the warm-in by being the people I wanted me to do.

[00:41:06] [SPEAKER_01]: But now, they're not like me.

[00:41:10] [SPEAKER_01]: And I know what I said.

[00:41:11] [SPEAKER_01]: They're much the only set end of my people.

[00:41:13] [SPEAKER_01]: That I really did show them in hell with me.

[00:41:15] [SPEAKER_01]: So that's my quote.

[00:41:17] [SPEAKER_01]: It's definitely, I think, a foreign, you know,

[00:41:23] [SPEAKER_01]: my practice is in forms of direction of my life.

[00:41:26] [SPEAKER_01]: Just am I being who I see, I am, I'm my beading who I see,

[00:41:30] [SPEAKER_01]: and so it's kind of like now imprinted all throughout the week.

[00:41:34] [SPEAKER_01]: I stick around, could probably find that in the middle of the night.

[00:41:38] [SPEAKER_01]: I think they caught me in half.

[00:41:39] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's it.

[00:41:41] [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you so much for today, Lauren.

[00:41:43] [SPEAKER_02]: Stop people, please, and people, and everywhere.

[00:41:47] [SPEAKER_02]: You know, you thank me so much, Lauren.

[00:41:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you, everyone.

[00:41:50] [SPEAKER_02]: Thanks for having me, cheers.

[00:41:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Bye.

[00:41:56] [SPEAKER_01]: Bye.

[00:41:56] [SPEAKER_01]: Hi.

[00:41:57] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm Lauren Adagan.

[00:41:59] [SPEAKER_01]: I am a coach and I'm a therapist, I'm based in Kumanar.

[00:42:02] [SPEAKER_01]: I run a company called Main Voice Tip.

[00:42:05] [SPEAKER_01]: And energy, I help people to recover in huge, strong, emotional abuse.

[00:42:10] [SPEAKER_01]: And I have to solicit the abuse and change control.

[00:42:12] [SPEAKER_01]: So if you want to find out more, head on what's in the website at www.main Voice Tip.co.ut.

[00:42:19] [SPEAKER_01]: And you can also find me on TipTalk, on Facebook and Instagram.

[00:42:26] [SPEAKER_04]: Next type on Scotland's Women.

[00:42:28] [SPEAKER_04]: Women support another women and really things have been as a result of that.

[00:42:34] [SPEAKER_04]: You know, where you get a group of women together and they continue to identify

[00:42:37] [SPEAKER_04]: the dynamic of things.

[00:42:40] [SPEAKER_04]: We're collectively so resourceful and how we manage that and think about all the leaders

[00:42:45] [SPEAKER_04]: that are out there in the community, is your Gallic and Beaders, your Sports Club,

[00:42:49] [SPEAKER_04]: committee members, there's all these female leaders out there.

[00:42:53] [SPEAKER_04]: They've been really of work and they can identify them and they've been impacted

[00:42:56] [SPEAKER_04]: within their community, whatever that looks like.

[00:42:59] [SPEAKER_04]: We just need to raise the child back to the right here.

[00:43:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for listening to Scotland's Women.

[00:43:05] [SPEAKER_02]: We'd love to hear from you so please visit the website at Scotland's Women.com

[00:43:11] [SPEAKER_02]: as every Scotland's Women has a story to tell.

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[00:43:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Scotland's Women, our lives, our stories.