Laughter is Purpose

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[00:01:35] Hi. Hey Natalie, how's it going? I'm good. Can you hear me okay? All good. I can hear you. Welcome to Scotland's Women. I'm so happy that you're on this episode. It's all about finding your purpose because you've made an amazing

[00:02:06] journey to find your purpose in your business. So how did it all start? Yeah, so I was a social worker for a long time but I'd spent about 25 years working in health and social care. I've always been in a care environment even

[00:02:25] way back when I was younger. Always volunteering and helping people and that's all I ever thought I would do but then I have this nickel that there was something more that I could do and should do and I kept pushing that down

[00:02:41] and carrying on with my job because that was important. And I'd worked so hard for the first 10 years of my son's life. I was a single man. So I'd been working full time and studying full time to get my social work to gain.

[00:02:57] So I was always striving for something but I never felt fulfilled. I never felt that I'd reach where I needed to reach and they've been as a social worker. I was very privileged. It was a really worthwhile job but I just knew

[00:03:13] that I had something more to offer and I'm just one of these people that even if I'm just walking down the street and minding my own business, people speak to me even if I'm dumbstops. They will speak to me. They'll give me

[00:03:28] their whole life story and ask for advice and they've always done that. You remember them talking, aren't you? Yes. It's like I'm not paid to speak to you today. There's so many people do.

[00:03:40] They just open up to me and I just thought and the advice I felt like I was giving was good advice and I just thought there's definitely something more that I need to do. And then as I say, I'm a social worker for 10

[00:03:54] years and I was just reaching that point of burnout where I was so, I was struggling with panic attacks and I was getting so anxious even if on ringing would trigger me into like a cold sweat and heart

[00:04:10] bulk potations. And I thought this is crazy. This is mad. Here I am working for a career and trying to do a good job but it's completely impacting my health. I'd come home at night and I would just be a wreck.

[00:04:26] I just, I struggled to unwind. I could never switch off and I just felt if something has to give, you know life is short and it's precious and I just can't stay in the situation. So yeah, reaching that stage

[00:04:44] where I'd realised that something had to give and something had to change and as I say, there was always that nickel that I wanted to do more but I couldn't quite put my finger on it at that stage what it was

[00:04:58] that was my purpose. And then I stumbled upon laughter yoga which sounds ridiculous and there's still so many people in the world that don't know what laughter yoga is. I don't know what laughter yoga is. I've heard the word

[00:05:13] I have never participated in it at all or anything but it sounds kind of like la la la sort of thing. I mean, can you just explain that for us? Yeah, of course so. I kind of felt the same when I heard laughter yoga

[00:05:27] about what rubbish is that. Sorry, you're making me laugh right now. I'm like, sorry, it's the word. It's true but I was like, what on earth is that? So basically laughter yoga was developed by a medical doctor in India

[00:05:42] called Dr. Kittaria and he was doing a research paper all about laughter and all the wonderful health benefits. And what he discovered was the fact that our body doesn't know the difference between pretend laughter and real laughter

[00:05:57] and you're still going to gain all the same wonderful health benefits. So it reduces your stress, it reduces your pain. It's good for relaxing your body. It's good for connecting with other people. You know, there's so many health benefits

[00:06:12] but so many of us, especially adults, we just don't laugh enough. So what he did was he did... Why do you think that is? Sorry, Tintora, why do you think that is? Why do you think as adults we're miserable?

[00:06:28] Yeah, well, yeah, especially, you know, we just we get too into our heads about things. We try to rationalise whether something is funny or is an appropriate time and place to laugh and a lot of times we sort of talk ourselves out of it.

[00:06:45] But as children, they laugh so freely and so openly and we need to do the same. So what is wonderful about Laugh De Yoga is that you can learn to laugh for no reason. So we don't need to rely on comedy or humour

[00:07:01] because what's funny to me might not be funny to you. Yeah. So it's childlike, not childish. Childlike exercises that you do to get yourself laughing. And as I say, it usually starts off as fake laughter, pretend laughter, which is fine and it soon turns into real laughter.

[00:07:21] Our real laughter is contagious. And the reason that there's yoga in the title is because Dupti Kittaria's wife was a yoga teacher. Right. We do some breathing exercises, some deep yoga breathing because that body, that ready to body for even more laughter.

[00:07:40] But I've had so many serious yogis come to my class with their yoga mat under their arm and I'm like, oh, shit. This is maybe not for you. You have to be open to the experience and you've got to take yourself really lightly and not seriously.

[00:07:57] And it's a joyful experience. Would you be able to share your journey before then? As before you were saying that you were suffering from panic attacks and you had burnout, could you share with us, you know, how where you were mentally at that point?

[00:08:19] Yeah. So I was kind of desperate for anything, trying anything I could to even get myself out of the car into the office in the morning. I would have like crystals in my bra. I'd be like tapping, I'd be doing affirmations. I literally was trying everything.

[00:08:37] And at one time I got tasked with arranging a team building day in my office and I thought it would be brilliant if we could do something fun and uplifting. And I can't remember what I googled, but I fell upon laughter yoga

[00:08:53] and got in touch with this amazing lady in Glasgow. And she was coming up to Inverness later that month anyway, where a mental health charity had sponsored this event. It was free for everybody. So I brought my team along and I remember having like the most amazing evening

[00:09:13] of laughter and movement and most people in the room were strangers, but you felt like you were coming out as friends. I mean, you've cheeks hurt with the laughter, your belly hurt. It was just one of those amazing nights you just remember forever.

[00:09:29] And I knew that night I was like, I just couldn't forget it. It just kept coming back to me of what a wonderful experience it was. But as I say, I'd worked so hard for so many years

[00:09:42] as a single mom giving up so much to get a good job and and so I didn't feel right to that stage to take it any further. The laughter yoga and there was no classes up here in Highland. And then a few years after that,

[00:09:59] you know, the the little moot, it was getting to the stage where I had to go to the doctor and get described anti-depressants. And I've always been such a. You know, enthusiastic, positive. Nobody in my friend circle or family could believe

[00:10:14] it got to the stage for any did anti-depressants. And I thought, right, something really has to change now. So I went down to Glasgow. I whacked on the credit card and I went down to Glasgow train to be a laughter yoga leader.

[00:10:29] And it was a two day training course. And the first day, the laughter for me was forced and it was hard and it was a struggle. And then a member going back to that hotel that night

[00:10:42] and I cried and I cried and I cried and I cried myself to sleep. And laughter does that. It's like a way of releasing emotions, like, you know, bottled up emotions. And the next day I just woke up and I felt so different.

[00:10:58] And I felt lighter and I just felt the sort of happiness I'd been in like such a long time. And that day of laughter was just joyful. You know, the laughter came so free, so easily. It was just beautiful.

[00:11:14] And I remember taking the train back up to Inverness. And I knew in that moment that my life had changed completely. And I think it was that same week I started like my Facebook page and I'd, you know, find a venue for my first class.

[00:11:30] And that was, wow, that's where I was headed. Because I just knew that I I'd found something so wonderful and I didn't want to lose it for myself, but I wanted to shade it with other people. And seven and a half years on, I'm still on that mission.

[00:11:45] I just love it. So I laugh a lot for your now. And it doesn't mean to say I'm always happy, because, you know, sub going in my personal life, I still get quite stressed and quite down because we're only human.

[00:11:57] Yeah. But I feel that laughter has been such a safe and grace for me. And as a practice, it's an absolute practice. I laugh every single day, even if not I'm not on the mood to laugh.

[00:12:09] And I think those are the days that you need to laugh the most. Right, OK. And that's so amazing just for how can you uplift that mood and just change how the day goes for you? It's so important. It sounds so simple.

[00:12:27] But it sounds hard at the same time to me. You know, I can't imagine, you know, when I've had a bad day and everything's getting on top of me. To force a laugh, it's it later only comes in a situation with me.

[00:12:44] You know, I couldn't imagine myself being in the kitchen doing the dishes and going and thinking about if then it's going on, my mind's working about a million miles an hour. And I'm like, ha, ha, ha, you know, that sounded quite evil. Right now.

[00:13:00] Yeah, it came from the soul, came from the soul. But what I'm fascinated about, Natalie, is everything's happening to you at this point. And you just whacked on the credit card and you changed your life within 40 hours. Were you not scared?

[00:13:16] Well, like because you're a single parent, I feel like there's a lot of there's so much pressure and go, I can't spend that money. Can't. But you had the balls to do it. Like what was it? Was this like your last chance?

[00:13:29] Like I've got to do something or, you know, that feeling. And definitely. Yeah, definitely. Because I mean, there was two years between first encountering, laughter yoga and training. So that was two years where I had all the doubts, you know, how stupid you can't

[00:13:44] make a living out of laughter. And, you know, this is a serious profession, social work, you know, you've worked really hard for it. It's really well respected. So I had so many things. I mean, I used to have debt collectors at the door, you know,

[00:13:55] things were tough when my, you know, before I qualified as a social worker, life was really difficult. So yeah, I've got huge hangouts with money and lack. But I just knew, as I say, it's like a niggle.

[00:14:10] I knew that there was something more that I had to do. There was something more that I could give the world. And because it just stayed with me for those two years before I trained, it wasn't like an impulse.

[00:14:23] It wasn't like a like reactive, like let's just go and do that. It was like, I really thought about it. And I just knew and you always say you hit rock bottom. So I hit rock bottom and the only way is up.

[00:14:35] So I just thought, well, even if I don't do anything with laughter beyond helping myself, then that's something. So yeah, there was lots of fear, lots of like, what am I doing? So that's ridiculous for all people think. But what did what did people think?

[00:14:53] You know, you've went from one extreme to the other here. How did you do that? How did you block out the noise and what was people's reaction going? Yeah, I'm a social worker, but now I'm going to be a laughter. Yoga, yoga. Sorry. Yoga. Sorry.

[00:15:11] Yeah, if they are laughing, I feel I feel bad calling and saying that. But now you laugh, I feel better. See, it's always laughs. Yeah, just yoga. I'll go for a yogurt. Um, tell me about that, that situation and people

[00:15:27] and how you built up the mindset to block out the noise. Yeah, I don't remember so much at the time because I was in such a laughter high. So when I got back to work,

[00:15:38] because I stayed at the social worker for a few more years before I lie. And I think I was just some such a laughter high. I was just so excited to tell people. So I still have the CDs case load and all that.

[00:15:50] But, you know, any opportunities like my left yoga and do classes, you must come along. And it's funny because actually tonight I was in the supermarket and there was a lassie that I used to work with. And I was like, hi, how are you doing?

[00:16:03] And her first thing was not are you still a social worker? Like, are you still laughing? I love that. I like that. I am still laughing. That's what I do. So I would say to my husband, like, I think people are forgetting,

[00:16:18] you know, like the 25 years of like health and social care that I've done. Yeah, it's like you're you're still laughing. Are you still doing classes? So yeah, definitely. People know me more now through my laughter, which is hilarious. Your life changed dramatically.

[00:16:37] You said like you're married, obviously, because you were coming out of a relationship before then. Is that right? And now you've you went into a new transition. So I was a single mom for the first 10 years of my son's life. And then I discovered laughter yoga.

[00:16:54] I was a social worker and then I met my new husband. So love that. He kind of just maybe at the strange transition is like she's a social worker, but she laughs. Be so supportive. He just goes along with everything. He's like, he's like my cheerleader. It's amazing.

[00:17:14] And so he should be. You are amazing. Tell me about your, you know, the people that come to you. Are they all walks of life? Yes, so all walks of life. I mean, my classes are open to anybody and it's amazing

[00:17:27] because there's been so many people that have come to my class really quite shy, nervous, really quite self-conscious because laughing with other people you don't know that's pretend laugh. So that can feel really silly and really self-conscious.

[00:17:43] So I've had so many people that have broken through those barriers. They have grown in confidence. They have made friends within the group. And some of their likes had changed. There's a lassie who had worked in the same job for years and years

[00:17:58] and years and she hated it, but she wasn't going to change her job because she just wasn't. And then the lockdown happened and she decided to take redundancy and now she's in the new job and she loves it. But before she would never have done that,

[00:18:14] she just didn't have the confidence. And it's such a beautiful thing. I mean, during lockdown, all my classes were on to Zoom. Yeah. And I was doing classes every single day for like the first month at least of lockdown

[00:18:29] because quite a few people in my classes were shielding. So they weren't seeing anybody and it was terrifying. It was so scary. None of the world knew what was happening, what we were dealing with. So first to meet on Zoom, give a little bit of normality,

[00:18:44] a bit of routine and a bit of support and friendship. That was a beautiful thing. And it's just kind of grown from there. I travel all over the Highlands. I go to so many different, you know, I've gone to care homes.

[00:18:58] I've gone to health centres, schools, committee groups. These classes are to build your confidence within yourself. Are you seeing more women building their confidence and going after what they want? Definitely. Definitely. Because so many people, especially if they're mothers, they're either working, they've got children,

[00:19:20] they've got bills to pay every day to serve is the same. And I despise when you find something where there's a laughter that's that catalyst, it just reminds you that there's more to life. Yeah. And we all have a purpose or we can all strive for something.

[00:19:38] We all have things that we enjoy and life that we're passionate about. And we should be going for them and we should be doing them. So it doesn't mean today you need to do something life changing like change a job. But if you've got something that excites you,

[00:19:53] do that. I mean, genuinely do that. I just I feel we just get so stuck in life and the weeks roll on and the months roll on and what we actually achieved and what we got to show for things. Now I've spent years supporting patients

[00:20:09] and families who decked and dying. And I always just think, God, what do we want to look back of? What would we tell people that our life is about and that we achieved and the adventures that we did in the experiences that we had?

[00:20:22] I mean, those are the most important things. So I'm all about supporting people to make changes. They don't have to be big changes, small changes are just as impactful. Finding your purpose Natalie, did it change you? It's actually changed me and it's reminded me

[00:20:41] who I was as a young adult. When I was late teens, I was all for saving the world. I was never going to have, you know, get my to have children. I was just going to devote my life to like saving the world.

[00:20:56] But I love the optimism and the positivity and the hope that I had back then and I had so much confidence back then. And as the years have gone on, I've lost a lot of confidence. And now I'm refinding my conflicts and pediment of puzzles.

[00:21:12] So then you're like, oh, God, another hurdle. So yeah, I just feel at the stage in life now where I question and fight and forever finding who I am as a person. Yeah. And I'm forever questioning what I do in life.

[00:21:30] Like years ago, jobs were Monday to Friday night. But why? I mean, I still do the odd shift. I've got bills to pay. But I'm like, God, I really need to do this. I want to be living my life.

[00:21:44] I want to be doing things that that bring me joy and happiness. And why do we have to be tied into this, you know, working all the time and and jobs and what is expected of you? I want to be free.

[00:22:01] I just want to be free to live the life that I want to live in. And to perk it, you know, I know now what my purpose is. It's this nickel that I've had forever, but didn't act on it. And now I am acting on it.

[00:22:15] I don't want to lose that. Yeah, because maybe I am a little bit woo woo. But I truly believe the universe. No, you're not. You're not. You're not woo woo. No, you're not. Oh, no, I definitely a bit woo woo.

[00:22:28] The universe gives you so many opportunities and experiences, and it's whether you take them. And I truly believe that whether you've got something that's nickel in the way you something that you want to do, but you never get right to it.

[00:22:41] I feel that if you don't act on it after a certain period of time, the universe will give back to somebody else. I truly believe that. So I'm very much like there's always going to be this fear. Am I good enough? Am I the right person for this?

[00:22:57] You know, money could be an issue, but. I just he just have to jump all in. I think for all the reasons why you're not doing it. A lot of that is just in our head. We think people's reactions are going to be a certain way.

[00:23:12] And many, many times that's not the reality. We just self sabotage ourselves. So if somebody is trying to find their purpose, I would encourage them to take themselves away somewhere quiet with a note card and a pen and just start writing.

[00:23:27] I always love like writing a happy list. Yeah, you know, a plot makes you happy. What are the things that bring you joy? And that's a great place to start. That's the best place to start. It's just like it's a big roundup.

[00:23:43] Honestly, I feel like I could talk to you for eight days and I hope it will give some, you know, women out there inspiration is just go for it. Be happy. Find your purpose. And also, we're going to do a bonus that's going to come after this episode,

[00:23:57] where we're going to do a little exercise. Natalie, and. Are you happy with in yourself? I'm happier than I've been in years. I don't think you can ever be forever happy because that's just not a natural state. But every day I'm on this journey

[00:24:19] and I'm never evolving and growing. And today in this moment right now, I'm very happy. One last thing I'm asking everybody that appears on the podcast, do you have a favourite quote, Natalie, that you know, we live by you want to share with us?

[00:24:37] I have got one that. I found a book that I was gifted when I was a teenager and it was Feel the Fear and Do Anyway by Susan Jeffers. And I stuck with that right to my probably to my forties. That was because you need to get yourself

[00:24:55] about your comfort zone, you need to live. So Feel the Fear is a lot of times. And we have rewarding is it when you've done something you were scared of and you've done it, you've achieved it and you feel great. So that was a big one for me.

[00:25:09] But now my forties is release all that no longer serves you. Releasing all these feelings that are just not serving you, whether it's feelings of not being good enough. And just yeah, just feelings of guilt, shame, just it's not serving you. It's not benefiting you. Just get rid.

[00:25:30] So release all that no longer serves you. I think it's my main one. Exactly. I love it. And no joke, right? On my phone, I bought this app and it gives you kind of just like little quotes and stuff. And one and it pops up all the time.

[00:25:47] And it just popped up. I see my happiness is laughing with the ones I love. I'm not joking. It does fail out. It's breaking in this bucket, obviously, but that is so freaky. Oh, I love that. I see my happiness is laughing with the ones I love.

[00:26:08] That could have been more appropriate. Thank you so much, Natalie, for for coming on Scotland's women. One more thing. What would be your quick advice to give the Scotland's women listeners out there? Laugh, just laugh right now.

[00:26:25] And yeah, even if you've got to listen to a funny joke or a funny video on YouTube, laugh, just laugh. Love it. Thank you so much, Natalie, for being on Scotland's Women. I really appreciate it. Thank you so much. Take care. Thank you. Hi. Hi, I'm Natalie Gilbert.

[00:26:48] And if you want to hear more about laughter yoga, life coaching and deep cluttering, I would love for you to check out my website. So www.lightentheload.life. You can also catch me on Facebook and my Instagram handle is laughterlassy. Thank you for listening to Scotland's Women.

[00:27:09] We would love to hear from you. So please visit the website at scotlandswomen.com as every Scotland's woman has a story to tell. And please subscribe on wherever you get your podcasts. Scotland's Women, our lives, our stories.